Entries for May, 2006
I'm 19 now. Huzzah!
Written by jihwan at 12:38 PM.
Four months [give or take] is far too long for a writer at heart to neglect his pen, albeit a virtual one. At the moment I am writing more due to guilt and self-loathing than because of any special inspiration. I'd promised myself I'd keep up my writing as often as I could, but things came up and I put it off, days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, blah blah blah.
I will now present to you the rotting, fetid carcass that is now my writing. Practice makes perfect, and practice has not been on my To-Do list for quite some time. Other facets of my youth's repertoire that have gone to seed include, but are not limited to: my violin skills, my pursuit for literary betterment, and general personal hygiene, as gross as that may sound. You know what sucks? What sucks is how at this moment as I'm typing this out, I've probably developed mental dysentery due to the sheer crapitude of my writing.
See? Crapitude? What the hell kind of word is that? That, my children, is what happens when one doesn't practice, as is applicable to practically every aspect of life.
What I could probably do, I suppose, is delete all my posts and "start fresh." Then I wouldn't have to deal with the gaping hole in my otherwise faily consistent, diligent digital monologue of over three years. [Holy crap, it's been three years already? Note to self: renew Patron account as meager income allows.] However, there's a barbaric sort of brutality that I associate with simply tearing out pages of one's memoirs. I don't understand how others can do it so readily; it's a move that I don't have the guts to make. The end result of this blather? I'll just have to live with the fact that for a third of a year, I'd lapsed back into the grand lump of unfinished business and half-assedness that I'd left in the past somewhere.
Half-assedness. My, how my vocabulary has flourished.
Well, what's life without mistakes and regression?
Believe it or not, I still go back and re-read my past entries every once in a while. Such sessions are usually instigated by late-night stupors when sleep insists on evading my grasp. Sometimes, I'm actually sort of impressed with what I wrote during that brief moment of inspiration. Other times, I'm thoroughly embarassed of the load of crap that somehow escaped from the private depths of my thoughts. But hey, others have written worse, right? Like Poe's prose or Machiavelli's fiction?
Whatever. The point is, I need to get back into the groove of writing. Three cheers for born-again first steps.
Written by jihwan at 06:06 PM.