Entries for May, 2004

Seventeen years old.

Written by jihwan at 09:00 AM.

11 x 0 = 0

My family went out to dinner tonight. On the way home, my sister was begging my dad to let her drive. Of course, he can't say no to daddy's little girl, so he said yes.

When we got relatively close to home, I pulled over to the side of the road and got out of the driver's seat with a strangely queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.

If you know anything about my sister, then you can understand the prospect of getting in a car with my sister as the driver. I thought about getting out and walking the rest of the way home, but I figured it'd be a lot safer to be INSIDE a killing machine than in the path of one.

She flaps around for a while trying to find the steering wheel, discovers the accelerator and brake, then shrieks with excitement. And off we go.

Apparently confused by the 3 voices that scream at her to slow down, she attempts to crush the brake pad and I nearly get decapitated by the seat belt; my mom and I are cringing in the back, laughing, crying, and soiling the seats. As we get to a street crossing, she sees the headlights of another car and spazzes out, slamming the brake, releasing the brake, then freaking out because the car won't stop rolling on at a breakneck 3 mph.

When we got home, she started skipping around and squealing like a pig at an Alabama slop convention.

"That was SO fun!! One more time!! Let's go again!!"

Written by jihwan at 10:11 PM.

4 x 0 = 0

APs are finally over.

Speaking of which, those Mary Kate & Ashley dolls are such great buys. The only thing different about them are the accessories and the name on the box.

While I'm on the subject, I'm contemplating on whether to continue to grow out my hair long or cut it short again. It's a big-time stressor.

Oh yeah. That reminds me. Make sure you watch the whole episode, not just the intro clip and the advertisement.

On a related note, I discovered a peanut M&M without a peanut in an innocent-looking bag of claimed Peanut M&M's. It was, without doubt, the best experience I've had in a while.

Viva la revolucion!!

Written by jihwan at 10:11 PM.

4 x 0 = 0

If you did not watch the Lakers v.s. Spurs Game 5 today, you missed what was probably the most exciting finish in the history of basketball.

At the end of the 3rd quarter, the Spurs were down by 16. In the 4th, they pulled back to within 1 point.

With 0.4 seconds left in the game, Tim duncan threw up a desperation shot that WENT IN. The game was in the bag. The Spurs were up, and all they had to do was guard the Lakers for 0.4 seconds.

Then, in an UNBELIEVABLE turn of events, the following Laker throw-in was given to Derek Fisher, who caught the ball and shot up a prayer. WITH 0.4 SECONDS LEFT IN THE FREAKIN GAME. The ball left Fisher's hand 0.025 seconds before the buzzer rang.

SWISH. The Spurs and the Spurs fans sat there dumbfounded as their amazing victory was snatched away from them in less than half a second. Two buzzer-beaters in the span of a couple seconds.

UN-FREAKIN-BELIEVABLE. If you missed this game, you missed out on HISTORY.

Written by jihwan at 08:01 PM.

5 x 0 = 0

All I need to do is

Find it.

Written by jihwan at 08:47 PM.

4 x 0 = 0

You see people every day that refuse to eat a certain kind of food because they "found out what it's made out of." I think it's a load of crock.

Take my friend. She was just fine and dandy with eating at Taco Bell until she "heard from a friend's uncle" that the beef used there had 0.06% rat meat. Then she freaked out and refused to eat at the Bell.

News flash: we don't live in some kind of fast food utopia where all ingredients are purified and sanctified for the sake of your little conscience. During the beef shredding process, trace amounts of rat meat is bound to get in there somehow. That's just the way things are. Get the hell over it.

Besides, knowing that the cow [or horse, in McDonald's case] in your burger was raised on an unsanitary, overcrowded farm doesn't change the way it tastes, so what's the big freakin deal? Slap enough ketchup on it and it all tastes the same.

Which leads me to the subject of animal rights activists. Now, for the record, I'm not some kind of bloodthirsty kill-the-white-rhino freak. I agree with the ethical treatment of animals, and I believe that there are certain boundaries that shouldn't be crossed. But when the PETA people start bitching about using animals as experimental subjects, I tend to disagree.

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they would rather save a few stray dogs instead of making some headway in the fight against various [fatal] diseases such as cancer or leukemia. Because, after all, a bit of gene experimentation on a few chimps is not worth the thousands of human lives that we could save, right?

Get off your moralizing attention trip and face reality. Sometimes there are more important things than the voting rights of assorted house pets.

And if you don't like Burger King's efficient, inexpensive [and quite tasty] products, then go catch yourself a nice fat cow and cook it yourself, why don't you?

Written by jihwan at 12:22 AM.

2 x 0 = 0

I ran out of shampoo.

I used bar soap.

It made me feel manly.

Then I realized that it was Dove's moisturizing, skin-softening, estrogen-chalked wussy bar soap.

It made me feel girly.

Written by jihwan at 07:06 PM.

3 x 0 = 0

My mom wants me to get a summer job.

I'm looking for a Help Wanted sign at fire stations, so I can save pretty women from encounters with fiery deaths and have them fall in love with me.

Or maybe a job as a Private Eye, to solve cryptic mysteries for pretty women in danger and have them fall in love with me.

I can be a professional bodyguard. I'll take bullets in the chest for pretty women and have them fall in love with me.




And if all else fails, I can always work at the local Baskin-Robbins in those sexy purple unforms and scoop ice cream for pretty ladies. And, of course, they'll fall in love with me.

Written by jihwan at 10:16 PM.

5 x 0 = 0